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Saturday, February 21, 2004

lets just all hope that maybe, in some way, the bonds between us become stronger because of all this crap.

Friday, February 20, 2004

i wish i could go to saysi tomorrow and open the door to see verdi look up at me from his powerbook and yell my name. i cant beleive how much i take things for granted. they could just disapear at any moment. when you least expect it. i was having trouble figuring out this flash tutorial and i was planning on asking him for help on saturday. but he wont be there. people are trying to get him back and im trying to help out too, i wrote a letter to the board and all, but im afraid we might be getting false hopes by doing all this. i just want things to be the way they used to be. im ok with change but not when its this sudden. i was planning on telling verdi goodbye at the Hello/Goodbye ceremony when i graduate from high school. not in the middle of my sophomore year. i mean, not that this is good bye or anything. at least i hope it isnt. im just used to knowing a change is coming. like finishing middle school, i knew i would have to leave my friends when 8th grade was over, or marcella, John and Harris graduating, or Jen leaving for pennslyvania. i was prepared to tell them goodbye when they left. but this.. this is so sudden, its just... oh i dont know.. this morning, when my dad drove me to school, i was thinking too much about all this crap. i was trying so hard to hold back the tears. i didnt want to cry infront of my dad and my sister and her friend. but then "Dust in the Wind" came on the radio and i just closed my eyes and tears streamed down my face. i dont know if my dad saw or not. but it was not a very good way to start off the day. and the rest of the day wasnt much better. and im sure everyone else had a pretty bad day as well. ok then, time to go to sleep.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

i dont know if ive had a worse day in my life. my biggest role model and motivator has been fired from saysi. how could this happen? brian says "they" told him "it was in the best interest of the program for him to leave" god knows who "they" is or how the hell it could be "in the best freaking interest of the program" to fire our biggest role model. i cant believe this is happening. i feel like i'm gonna wake up tomorrow, go to saysi on saturday, and hear verdi yell "SARAH!" i really dont want to go to school tomorrow. i have a chem quiz... i cant even remember what its over. but i know i dont know the material. i was planning on studdying tonight. what could he have done? i dont understand. why would someone take him away from us? how could they? they must not understand.